The following article is written by Matthew Coppola, Australian Career Coach and Employment Consultant. If you are interested in inviting him to speak at any events/conferences, please feel free to contact us.
Do you sometimes feel that no matter how hard you try to be friends, you manage to turn off some of your co-workers? What then do you need to do to be able to get along with your colleagues better? The truth of the matter is, not everyone is going to like you. This is a sad reality of life that we must all accept. If you try too hard to have your colleagues like you, it may actually work the opposite, actually turning them off. Your colleagues will be able to sniff out the insecurity from you. So how do you then deal with this dilemma?
The answer is to treat your co-workers as you would treat yourself. Although you have your own flaws, recognize your own worth as an individual and how much you have to offer to your workplace. By valuing yourself better, it will enable you to be able to value your co-workers better. For instance this would help in dealing with the occasional co-worker who puts forward a cold shoulder whenever you try to be friends with them on a professional level. In saying that, steer away from automatically assuming that “the other person has the problem” it may be that your personality and approach in communicating to others needs refinement.
There are two ways that can help you in making a goal of getting along better with your colleagues. These are:
- Try and improve your conversation skills
- Show personal, yet professional interest in your colleagues
Improving your conversation skills
People like those who can converse well in meetings, networking functions, and amongst co-workers. Improving your conversation skills starts with having something worthwhile to say, that is, to think before you speak. It is good to be able to talk about a wide variety of subjects. For example, you might want to keep up to date with news and current affairs or innovations and changes in your industry. Reading industry focused magazines and newsletters are a good way of having something to talk about. Whatever you speak about, try and avoid three things – making your conversations more about yourself and not the other person, negative talk and gossiping about other staff members.
Another important skill is to be able to keep the conversation flowing. If a co-worker or manager asks you a question or says something to you in conversation, don’t kill the discussion with a yes or a no answer, instead reply in full. For example, if a colleague asks you how your weekend was, reply in saying how it was and what you did. This then opens the door for further discussion and allows the opportunity for you to ask your co-worker a similar question. Do you ever find that people bring up subjects that you are either not interested in or have little idea about it? Even so, the other person will think favourably upon you if you ask them questions and show interest in what they have to say.
Show personal, yet professional interest in your colleagues
Personal interest on a professional level, by definition, is about being attentive to the concerns and being curious about your fellow colleagues. You can show this through making yourself available to help and using encouraging words such as ‘you should be proud of yourself’ ‘That’s impressive’ or ‘Wish I was as good as you’ and so forth. If you make it a goal of genuinely expressing praise to your co-workers, you can expect them to do also to you.
The basic principle to making others like you is to tell them what they want to hear and Show them what they want to see.
You tell your colleagues what they want to hear by praising them and their work, saying things like “I wish I was as smart as you” and “You’re going to go far in this company” this is what they want to hear! They also want to see you praising them to the boss, making mistakes and asking them for help and not trying to seek attention from others in the office. They want to see genuineness, accountability and respect from you.
Make it also a goal of giving your time and energy to your fellow colleagues. This will impress them greatly. If you are working, and your colleague comes up to you and explains how they solved a work-related issue, sacrifice five minutes of your time to listen to what they say, by dropping everything you have in your hands and turn your body towards them. Of course, if you are really busy at work and cannot spare 5 minutes, explain to them that you are flat out but would be interested in hearing about it possibly over lunch or at another suitable time.
You can get along with your colleagues better!
Often times the reason why we have a hard getting along with certain people is simply because there is a clash of personalities. Generally, personality clashes centre around two colleagues with strong personalities. If you find yourself having a hard time getting along with someone at work that has a strong personality, remember that blaming the other person will only result in a vicious circle, with each individual not giving in. Best thing to do in that situation is to realise that it takes the stronger person to back down and show humility.
Clashes between individuals with strong personalities at work usually begin like a tiny leak on a submarine submerged underwater. Sooner or later the crack becomes bigger and bigger, finally bursting a hole in the vessel and flooding it. So likewise if you find yourself about to explode with angry words, it would be best for you to physically walk away. The potential for personality clashes to occur are always going to be there, so therefore it is your responsibility to avoid it all cost.
Every colleague is different, so it can be very challenging at times to build a relationship with them all. But trying your hardest to get along with all of your colleagues despite differing personalities, some more extreme than others, will make an impression on your colleagues and they will go out of their way to get along with you too. It just takes the bigger person. So it might as well be you!
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Established in 2010, Client Centric Executive Employment Solutions (formerly All Jobs Resume Writing Services Australia) has become one of the leading boutique Employment Services firm in Australia. We offer a range of specialist career management and resume writing services to satisfy our clients both at an individual and corporate level. Our writing services include resume and cover letter assistance, responding to key selection criteria, search word optimised LinkedIn Profiles for greater online presence and a job application service where we apply for jobs on your behalf. Our corporate program includes career management planning assistance such as writing key staff biographies for website and marketing presentations, outplacement and career transitioning services for retrenched staff and career counselling. Our team are highly skilled and knowledgeable in broad range of industries. We service clients all over Australia including Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney, Canberra and Hobart.
Matthew Coppola 